Those Tears

By, Chrystos

Those Tears
of a white woman who came to the group for Women of Color
only
her grief cut us into guilt while we clutched the straw
of this tiny square inch we have which we need
so desperately when we need so much more
We talked her into leaving
which took 10 minutes of our precious 60
Those legion white Lesbians whose feelings are hurt
because we have a Lesbians of Color Potluck
once a month for 2 hours
without them
Those tears of the straight woman
because we kicked out her boyfriend at the Lesbians only
poetry reading where no microphone was provided
& the room was much too small for all of us
shouting that we were imperialists
though I had spent 8 minutes trying to explain
to her that an oppressed people
cannot oppress their oppressor
She ignored me
charged into the room weeping & storming
taking up 9 minutes of our precious tiny square inch
Ah those tears
which could be jails, graves, rapists, thieves, thugs
those tears which are so puffed up with inappropriate grief
Those women who are used to having their tears work
rage at us
when they don't
We are not real Feminists they say
We do not love women
I yell back with a wet face
_Where are our jobs? Our apartments?_
_Our voices in parliament or congress?_
_Where is our safety from beatings, from murder?_
_You cannot even respect us to allow us_
_60 uninterrupted minutes for ourselves_

Your tears are chains
Feminism is the right of each woman
to claim her own life her own time
her own interrupted 60 hours
60 days
60 years
No matter how sensitive you are
if you are white
you are
No matter how sensitive you are
if you are a man
you are
We who are not allowed to speak have the right
to define our terms our turf
These facts are not debatable
Give us our inch
& we'll hand you a hanky.

Posted today by Black Amazon. I don't have much to add. I was simply moved, truly moved. I think I have come to understand this, and I hope I can truly come to grok it.

Bravery

All I can say is "wow" to the bravery of these folks. My heart is with them.

As bulldozers and chainsaws cut into the forest and hill of Rath Lugh - one of a number of ancient tombs and holy wells in peril due to the road work in the Tara-Skryne Valley - protesters have announced that they have dug tunnels under the proposed roadway, and are willing to risk their lives in defense of the land.

For months now our brave pixies have been digging in secret, carrying out buckets of earth under cover of night. They have stocked the tunnels with food and supplies, and are digging in for at least a three month stay.

The soil around Rath Lugh is loose stone and esker. If the road crew attempt to drive their heavy machinery over the land, the tunnels will collapse. One of the women, interviewed in the video below, explains that if the gardaí attempt to enter the tunnel, she will lock herself to the jack holding up the roof. If they then attempt to pull her out, the tunnel will most likely collapse on them all. The question is, will those who are pushing this illegal roadway through, despite the protection orders and 80 percent public disapproval in Ireland alone, have the guts to refuse to harm these human shields, or are they going to have more Rachel Corries on their heads?

Yes, yes, yes

Mind the Gap has a great post up about femininity and courtly love. And there are a couple things I especially loved.

“The household tyrant has his wife help him into his coat. She eagerly does the service of love and accompanies him with a glance, which says: what am I supposed to do, let him have his little joys, that’s the way he is, only a man. Patriarchal marriage revenges itself on the man through the indulgence, which the woman practices and which has turned into a formula in the ironic lament of male vulnerability and dependence. Inside of the lying ideology, which posits the man as superior, lies a secret, not less untrue one, which reduces him to something inferior, to the victim of manipulation, maneuvers, deception.”

I have a big problem with the idea of the ‘deviant’, mainly because it’s usually meant as a challenge to heteronormative attitudes to relationships, but in actual fact it reinforces them. If you define yourself as a deviant, your identity relies on the existence of a norm. You’ve said ‘fuck you!’ to this norm, but at the same time, if it went away, well, oops, there goes your identity as a deviant.

I think if we’re to have a sexual revolution, if we’re to completely destroy patriarchal ideas of gender and sexuality, we need to get rid of the idea of ‘deviant’ versus ‘normal’, if nothing else because it assumes that everyone belongs to a huge mass of undefined ‘normals’ off somewhere pleasuring the Patriarchy, whereas we hallowed beings who are gathered in this room are all clearly defined individuals, which is of course a bit of an illusion to say the least. On a more basic level, we need to defeat our deeply patriarchal urge to define everything, and particularly as women, to pin and mount ourselves like butterflies.

I couldn't agree more, and that's as someone who has and does certainly define herself equally as much by what I am NOT as by what I am. But the labeling and titles and definitions, they have really started to wear on me and seem increasingly worthless.

Valenti on Clinton issues

Jessica Valenti posted a really great piece up at The Nation a couple days ago, that I just could not agree with more.

No matter what Clinton's fate, feminist election tensions will start to fade -- but we shouldn't let them, no matter how many calls for solidarity are issued by movement leaders. Instead of the group hug approach, let's focus on tangible goals: fostering youth leadership, working from the margins in and using intersectionality as our lens--instead of just a talking point. Let's use this moment, when our politics and emotions are raw, to push for a better, more forward-looking feminism.

I think this election has given us a truly rare opportunity to let down our guards and really discuss our feminisms with each other, and a defining moment of contrast between the 2nd and 3rd waves beyond the commonly propagated cliches. We should not waste it.

Take a moment...

To help save the Southall Black Sisters!

Bitch

The new edition of Bitch is fabulous, as usual.

I haven't finished it yet, but I've already had post topics going through my head. Especially on the "domestic discipline" article. I see that Amanda Marcotte was also struck by this article, but I found it interesting how differently she took it.

I didn't take it as suggesting that ALL domestic problems arose from the female partner (or that this had one single thing to do with Christianity). I read the situation more like when the women partner does something to mess up (in her own estimation) that she is disciplined for it. I definitely didn't read in it the tone from domestic abuse situations where any small problem can and will be placed at the woman's feet. Though I have to admit that at times the perspective made me very uncomfortable. The way the women felt about themselves was chief in that.

At the end of the day it seems like an issue of choice, and taste, to me. And brings up difficult questions. Where do we draw the line between respecting individual choice and actually OK'ing abuse? And how do we tackle the very obvious possible self esteem issues that bring women to find DD attractive?

Out in the world

As someone who only last week found herself in a room with a bunch of male co-workers who were laughing uproariously at things I didn't find particularly amusing, trying to decide just how to react...this post was a much needed reminder that you know what? No. No, I can just sit there and stare at you puzzledly if I don't see why you're laughing. No, I don't have to chuckle or smile or anything else. Fuck that.

Check it out

Speak it sister.

Man...

I am worn the fuck out from arguing that yes, we do live in a rape culture and here's why. No, women are not to blame for being raped. Yes, we are taught to be scared of men, and taught that if we are raped we must have done something to provoke it. Yes our society is sexist and racist and homophobic. No, your experience of what it is to live in this world is NOT a universal experience... Yes, our justice system is completely fucking broken.

Sometimes I don't understand how it is that I live in the same world as some of these people...Even at my worst, not realizing how I fit into this picture and not recognizing my privilege, I knew there was more to it than I was living. How are people satisfied living unexamined, unquestioned existences?? I've got ideas for real posts in my head, but I'm just fucking exhausted.