On Columbus Day, Indigenous Activists Urge Celebration of Native Culture & Teaching of the Americas’ Genocide

From Democracy Now:



Let's celebrate a history worth celebrating: resistance.

Happy Indigenous Peoples Day!

Good Shit I Have Been Reading: Defining Muslim Feminist Politics through Indigenous Solidarity Activism

It's been a long time since I did a round up of good pieces I have read recently, and to be honest over the last two years in particular I just haven't kept up my reading as I once did.  But I am doing a bit more of it lately and I felt particularly moved to share this piece by Shaista Patel with you.  Do go read it all at The Feminist Wire....

Defining Muslim Feminist Politics through Indigenous Solidarity Activism:

"While we may share some histories, it is critical for us Muslims and other non-Indigenous people here to not fall into the trap of equating the struggles of Muslims with that of Indigenous peoples in white settler colonies, where Indigenous people who have been living here since time immemorial have now been outnumbered by whites through illegal land grab, dispossession, and outright genocide. Under settler-colonialism, as Patrick Wolfe asserts, “the dominant feature is not exploitation [of Indigenous peoples’ labor] but replacement” of Indigenous people by white people.[iv] Our connection as racialized people to this land is not the same as that of its Indigenous peoples, and we have to remember that they are not just a “minority” group here, like we are. In “Heteropatriarchy and the three pillars of white supremacy,” scholar Andrea Smith explains how the logic of the genocide of Indigenous peoples and slavery, and continual treatment of Black people as property under capitalism, interrelate and work with the Orientalist logic of seeing Muslims and Arabs as inferior, which legitimizes constant war on their lands and bodies.[v] It is important, therefore, to understand the different but interrelated ways in which white supremacy affects and implicates us. My Muslim feminist praxis asks me not to leave this recognition of living on stolen land as rhetoric, as a mere admission, but rather to make my complicity into an urgent political and personal task. 

How does this sense of complicity translate into an everyday feminist praxis? As a Muslim feminist, fighting racism, sexism, and homophobia has been at the forefront of my agenda.  However, an understanding of ongoing colonial relations between Canadians and Indigenous peoples here makes it necessary to remember that, as several Indigenous women have patiently pointed out again and again, colonization happened precisely through patriarchal gendered violence against Indigenous women. As Smith explains in her ground-breaking work,Conquest: Sexual Violence and American Indian Genocide:

[I]n order to colonize a people whose society was not hierarchical, colonizers must first naturalize hierarchy through instituting patriarchy.[vi]

Drawing on these insights, I recognize that my struggles against gender violence will fail if articulated in isolation from confronting colonial patriarchal relations that continue to strengthen sexual and other forms of violence against Indigenous women, women of color, and white women. I cannot fight against the invasion of my body if my politics do not account for the ways in which Indigenous women have been constantly marked for death and disappearance. If I am angry about Mark Steyn’s anti-Muslim vitriolic cry that the “future belongs to Islam” because Muslim women are reproducing “speedily” while the Western (white) population is declining,[vii] I have to remember that Indigenous women are still seen as “better dead than pregnant”.[viii] The “Stolen Sisters” report by Amnesty International (Canada) states that a 1996 Canadian government statistic reveals that Indigenous women between the ages of 25 and 44, with status under the Indian Act, were five times more likely than all other women of the same age to die as the result of violence.[ix] Native Women’s Association of Canada reports the number of missing and murdered Indigenous women at 582 since 1980,[x] while several other Indigenous men and women report the number to be much higher, which is not surprising given the fact that colonialism works precisely through targeting Indigenous women’s bodies. If Indigenous women’s bodies are disposable and a site of everyday violence, what integrity can my body demand here?"

'via Blog this'

Once More into the Spuffy Breach, Dear Friends, Or; My Evolving and Complicated Relationship with Spike

There was a day when I was a teenager, probably 15 or 16, when I saw the sex scene from "Smashed" (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, if you didn't already know from the post title) on television.  It was completely out of context.  I literally clicked the remote onto the channel right at the moment where Buffy and Spike were making out, tearing down a house, and fucking.  And my jaw dropped.  And I was like, "holy shit, is this seriously on TV right now?"  And then I was simply very aware of how turned on I was by the whole scene.

Cut to... At least seven years later and I still haven't really watched Buffy cuz honestly I didn't care that much about the show, but friends of mine are STILL raving about it so I finally give in and decide to watch it - also there's that sex scene at some point to see again and I'll be honest: I was looking forward to it.  So I watch the series, and I get really invested in Spike as a character.  Yeah, he is really stalkery, but that's ok (it's not really [and I'm over-simplifying my reaction, I wasn't ok with it then either but I also chose to sort of let it go]), and he doesn't know how to take no for an answer (not cute IRL in any way).  BUT WHO CARES LOOK AT HIM OMG (no really though you should care, but I didn't).

But despite this, when I got to that sex scene again... It didn't affect me the way it did that first time.  I suspect because, in part, I knew the story that went along with it.  Truthfully the kiss at the end of "Once More, With Feeling" affected me more (IN MY PANTS) than that sex scene did.  But I still have lots of feelings about that sex scene because of what it meant to me the first time I saw it, and I felt I should continue having those feelings for it.  I certainly was still attracted to Spike, hugely so, so I just accepted that perhaps part of the fun of that first viewing was that it came out of nowhere and caught me by surprise - along with that sense of (in my parents living room sort of late at night) "I should NOT be watching this right now!"  But still, that it didn't affect me the same way bothered me.  And has continued to bother me.

Cut to lots of years later and Mark of Mark Watches getting to season six of Buffy, getting to this episode and his reaction...could not be more different than mine was over ten years ago now and I'm just like "WHAT?" because you see I'm still really invested in this scene and this character.  But along with that "WHAT?" reaction is the same nagging little voice that bothered me the last time I watched this scene, the one that's like, "you're not turned on, why is that?"  The very non-reaction of my body to this scene is in itself a reaction and it's one that I don't know how to process.  Hell it's been processing for years at this point and I still don't know how to express what I feel and why it matters even as I know it does matter to me.

The best I can figure is that this matters to me now because I understand something about the politics of desire - that what we desire is as imbued with political meaning as everything else.  I started exploring that in my posts about how it bothered me when I realized my "hottest guys" list was populated exclusively by white men.  I have over the years consciously forced awareness of these things onto myself, in an effort to decolonize my mind in this arena to the best of my ability (with noticeable positive results).  And it was roughly during this period that I watched Buffy all the way through for the first time.  I was subconsciously already processing these issues when I watched the series, though I wouldn't be able to write about (or articulate) them until much later (obviously).  Although, if you look back, my very first posts on this blog were reposts from livejournal about...what else?  Spuffy. (P.S. those posts have major spoilers so if you're watching for the first time don't go looking for them, also if you do go looking for them please excuse my ableist language. Good gods that is some old writing...)

Quite frankly I don't know if I'm ready to dissect my attraction to Spike.  I am certain that is a very loaded piece of my psyche, maybe that doesn't NEED to be totally unpacked? (I waffle on this).  But here's what I do know.  I do know that what Mark wrote in his reactions to these scenes and this relationship hit me in the gut.  I do know that I had a hot mess of conflicted feelings reacting to what he wrote; some of which are very personal feelings about whether or not I am in fact a fucked up person (in ways I didn't already know about/am not ready/don't want to deal with).  And I do know that I've been putting off going back and rewatching that episode; that I'm wary of what I might find this time around.  I also know that, given the clusterfuck of a reaction the fandom has given Mark as a result of his writing on that episode (now dubbed the Great Spuffy Meltdown of 2012 by Mark himself), I am getting indications that maybe my reactions to these scenes and this relationship are ones I SHOULD analyze more than I have.

And for once I don't really have a conclusion here, I'm just kind of laying out the things I've been thinking about.  I keep thinking about these things off and on as I read Mark's reviews, and revisiting feelings that have lain dormant for YEARS as it goes along.  I know there are Buffy fans who read my stuff, what do you think about all this?  What were/have been your feelings watching this relationship evolve?  Where is consent in their sexual relationship, if it's there at all?  I remember brownfemipower having some interesting thoughts about the sort of BDSM type nature of the Spuffy relationship and its being a rare instance of that sort of relationship being OK on mainstream television and agreeing with her interpretation, but I haven't been able to find those posts again on tumblr.  Does something along those lines ring true for you?  Or am I just way out in left field?

"Sex" is not an "adult" activity

So here's something that, in discussions online, I have seen come up again and again that really annoys me: the idea that "sex" is "for adults."

In fact, the idea that sex is ONLY for adults is something that is really pervasive in U.S. culture. We often use "adult" as a stand-in for "sexual," and in most states the "age of consent" is 18, which is our arbitrary decision of when people become "adults."

Before that threshold, apparently, we can't legally be trusted to make important decisions for our lives; our parents, in fact, know better than us what we need. (That idea is worthy of a whole other post but if you're interested there's good writing on it going on here, here [of this fame] and here, just to name a few.)

And so we take for granted this idea that "sex" is something that adults, and only adults, do. Or at least, we take that as the *BEST* way. Most people I know are *resigned* to the fact that children do things like masturbate, have sexual fantasies and desires, and have sexual experiences with a partner or partners. But see, even they, most of the time, are resigned to that fact. This is something that happens, though it isn't the *ideal.*  This is why even comprehensive programs of sex ed stress abstinence, because "childhood" abstinence is held up as the ideal.

Even so, I'm now starting to think I lived in the golden age of sex education in USian public school, given the reports coming out of the high schools in my area NOW as compared to when I went to school (a whopping 9 years ago)... And even in my classes, sex was presented as something we should probably avoid, but if we didn't, here, we'll help protect you from the dangers. And of course, dangers they actively protected us (white, suburban, middle class, Californian us, for the most part) from were: pregnancy and STD's.

This approach is what made me want to write my own damn curriculum. Because (among other things) do you know, we never discussed consent?  Weird, huh?

(Again...a whole other post...)

(And did we ever consider or include non cis, non hetero classmates? Um, no.)

But see, we never discussed consent because one of the foundational ideas of the courses was that "well, we're not going to teach kids HOW to have sex!"

(Oh gods how many times I've heard that phrase.)

And therein lies the origin of my problem.

This idea that sex is something that only adults do means that we are consistently resistant to anything that smacks of "teaching our kids HOW to have sex".

What does that mean to the lives of all those who are under 18?

And hell, even 18 and older, because after 18 years of being taught "this is something we don't talk about" we don't suddenly become comfortable talking about it; let's be real on that point.

So what happens is we end up in a situation where, most people, come to this place where we WANT to have sex and we have no idea how to even begin to go about it.  How do we talk to someone about this thing we're not supposed to talk about?  Maybe it's easier just NOT to talk about it, eh?  We can like, just go for it, right?  If they don't want to be kissed or touched they'll slap us or say no, right?  (That's how it goes in the movies.)

Surely you see where this all leads right?

Which is why we have to, HAVE TO, tell kids HOW to have sex, and stop thinking that sex isn't something non-adults are curious about, thinking about, desiring, and, doing.

Because healthy sexual relationships (at whatever age, in whatever form) aren't built in silence.

Because we need a healthy foundation to make good decisions for ourselves.

And because, ironically, if you aren't teaching kids how to communicate honestly, you're also actively working against their ability to articulate boundaries, to "just say no" which is what so many of you want, right?

Cara Has a Post That is Really On It

I mean that's not that unusual... But especially given my head- and blog-focus the last couple weeks it was, I thought, especially appropo to share with you all...

Police Officer Arrested for On-Duty Sexual Assault and False Imprisonment of Ex-Girlfriend
thecurvature:

I’ve made it clear in the past as well as in this post that I don’t buy into the “rotten apple” theory of police violence. I think it’s false, deliberately misleading, and incredibly dangerous. But if we were to ignorantly accept it as fact — and insofar as it is true that many abusive cops would have turned out to be abusive people regardless of whether or not they ever joined the force, or joined the force specifically to have an opportunity to abuse — we really need to acknowledge why exactly it is that so many individuals who want to commit violence are gravitating towards a career in law enforcement. We need to recognize that this is not an accident, and that it’s about more than access to a gun, but also about access to extraordinary, unquestioned, and undeserved power. It’s also about expanded access to a litany of excuses and justifications for their violence. We have to take notice of the fact that when so many abusers want to work for your institution and use it as a cover-up for their violence, you are doing something wrong. You are doing something to attract them, and to tell them that with you, they will be safe and supported.

In Memorial.

"...we as a family has been slapped in the face by a system that has denied us a right to true justice. We truly do not blame the jury, but we blame the system."
- Cephus Johnson, Oscar Grant's uncle

In Memorial.


Oscar Grant
Duanna Johnson
Aiyana Stanley-Jones
Sean Bell
James Popkowski
Adolph Grimes
Patrick Lee
Corey Harris
Annette Garcia
Fong Lee
Robert Mitchell
Martin Anderson
Kathryn Johnston
Joseph Erin Hamley
Jessie Lee Williams Jr.
Juan Herrera

These are just the people who died from their mistreatment at police hands in the last few years (and I'm positive I did not get them all).

What about Christopher Harris, Angel L. Rosenthal, Kelly McAllister, Frederick Mason, Jeremy Burke, Jessica Asprilla, Derek Copp, Lori Penner, Ronnie Holloway, Brian Sterner, Angela Garbarino, Robin Kassner, Hope Steffey, Robert Davis, Cornell Greathouse, and so, so many others who haven't died, who have gone unnoticed or been silenced or kept their names out of the records for their own safety?

This has to stop. Police are supposed to exist to protect their communities, not terrorize them! And you know what, if that's not true, then fuck'em, we don't need them! And we don't need their fake justice. We'll keep each other safe!

Cuz you know what I see, looking through all these cases?

Every single person deviates from the kyriarchal standard in some way. Black, Native, physically or mentally disabled, trans*, Latin@, LGB, activist, Asian, poor, immigrant...they're all positioned in opposition to authority, as a threat to the system.

Do you think that's a coincidence?

I don't.

The Latest on Arpaio

Arpaio caught racial profiling, stalking public officials and neglecting his duties.

Vigil TODAY in Lake Merritt

PRESS RELEASE
TIME: Sunday, November 22, 3:30pm
LOCATION: Mac Arthur and Grand Ave. at Lake Merritt
CONTACT: Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, Liz Latty
PHONE: (510) 282-5223
EMAIL: morethanavigil@gmail.com
BAY AREA COMMUNITY MEMBERS TO HOLD VIGIL FOR QUEER/TRANS TEENS MURDERED IN MARYLAND AND PUERTO RICO

Though it happened a week ago, I just caught up with this story, so here's what happened.

A queer and/or trans teenager in Puerto Rico, Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado, was killed after she was picked up by a man for sex and he discovered her "male genitalia". She has also been reported predominantly to be a "gay male", though as Helen G notes in the link provided that she was dressed as a woman and that her killer seemingly believed her to be one when he picked her up.
Links and more information found here.

Also of note in this case is the way the local police have been commenting on the victim. The former officer in charge of the case had this to say:

“When these type of people get into this and go out into the streets like this, they know this can happen to them.”

Thankfully THAT asshole was taken off the case. We'll see if it gets better on that front from here on.

The same week, in Baltimore, Maryland, queer fifteen-year-old Jason Mattison, Jr., was raped and stabbed to death in his aunt’s home by an adult male, a family friend with whom, according to a Baltimore police spokesperson, Mattison allegedly had a “forced sexual relationship.”

(From the press release of this vigil) More information on this case can be found here.

There are other events and vigils that have been popping up all over the country. Events for Jorge can be found here For Jason, here.

Al Franken Rape Amendment

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Rape-Nuts
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Ron Paul Interview

Words to Remember

When you make rape jokes, bear in mind that you’re not just making them around potential rape victims. You’re making them around potential rapists. You are making a joke that tells the women around you who have been raped that you think their rape wasn’t serious, and you are making a joke that tells the men around you who have raped that you think what they did is not serious. You are telling rapists that they have an ally in you.

Two More Things « Fugitivus

People I Love Who Have Done Shit I Hate...2!

Last time we talked about Seth Rogen and Nathan Fillion. Two actors who I like quite a lot generally speaking, who had both recently done work I thought was absolutely horrifying.

Well, it's time for another edition. Who is the star this time? Rainn Wilson.

In a series of tweets earlier today Rainn recounted the people he has offended since taking up Twitter, and how this number displayed his twitterific success.

in 2 mos on twitter i've offended: hippies, rape victims, Christians, veterans and fans of 'Kings of Leon'. Must be doing something right.

You might think at first that this hippy is going to bitch about him insulting hippies. Oh no no, I'm used to that part of my identity being hated on. No, I saw this tweet and went "...rape victims??" Well, being the ever helpful wench that she is, Cara pointed me to the right post.

Pretty hungry after a long days shoot. Gonna go home and date rape some leftovers.

What, the, fuck?

Really?

Why is this still ok people? How is it funny? Rape isn't funny. Using the word flippantly like this isn't funny, it's triggering.

Now I don't know how I missed this in the first place, but I did.

But here it is now, and not only that but apparently it's something to be bragged about?

And then....

Oh, and transsexuals and geriatrics. And twidiots everywhere. And Ed Asner. And mice.

Transgender people too, eh? I missed this one too (apparently I am at times a very inattentive Twit). But, geez. Really?

It's just so frustrating, and like I twittered, moreso because I don't think Rainn Wilson is just a big douche. I don't. It'd be easier if I thought he was. But no, and yet here he is, acting like a huge one, and bragging, BRAGGING about it.

I realize that people are bound to disappoint us... I'm sure I'll at some point trip over my own ingrained racism or ableism or some other ism. We've all got that. And I would expect if others saw such a thing for them to call me out on it.

So where do we draw the line? What do we overlook because we know everyone is imperfect (or do we)? And when it comes to pop culture like this, do we forgo someone whose work we like because of stumbling moments like this? Should we? Is it a function of privilege that we do or don't?

I don't know. I struggle with drawing that line. I know I'm not going to boycott The Office (though I boycotted Observe and Report) and I will still generally see Seth Rogen movies and anything Nathan Fillion is in. And sure, I post about this stuff, I'll call people I like out for doing fucked up things, and I twittered my displeasure to Rainn. Is that all we can do?

I just don't know. But here it is. Another someone I like who did something I hate.

People I Love Who Have Done Shit I Hate

This week quite a few posts came out damning Seth Rogen's new movie "Observe and Report". Now, you may (not) recall that during the criticisms of "Knocked Up" and "Superbad" I was on Seth's side.

Well, not this time.

My favorite post on the subject is by Natalia Antonova, called: Dear God, Seth Rogen, Rape is Rape. And honestly I think the title alone says it all (but go read the post anyway cuz, really, it's good).

If you've yet to hear about this and have no idea what I'm talking about, in the course of the movie Seth Rogen's character date rapes the main love interest. She's drunk, he's not and he has sex with her while she's passed out. What is supposedly meant to justify this scene is that she wakes up long enough to say "why are you stopping, motherfucker?" That's according to Seth himself.

Not. Fucking. Cool.

I don't care what someone says when they're *not actually conscious*, that's not consent. Is this really that difficult?

Now, apparently we're not really supposed to even like his character. I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me.

Do you know WHY that doesn't work for me? Because we have realities like this in the world:

Although a few boys may have quietly disagreed with their classmates, the vocal [middle school] students spent class arguing that James had not raped Tonya [in the hypothetical scenario (which is almost exactly like Rogen's character's)]. Ironically, the boys based their arguments on many of the same things that legally defined teh scenario as rape: they said it was not rape because Tonya was passed out, because seh was drunk, because she had failed to make any decision - yes or no. Others argued that Tonya did not protest when she woke up, she was James's girlfriend, she flirted, and, had she been able, she might have said yes. [The rape crisis presenter's] tried futilely to convince the boys that the sex was rape: "It was against her will," they reminded the boys. "Did she get to make the decision to be sexual?" the women pleaded. The boys insisted that because Tonya had not indicated that she did not want to have sex, the sex was consensual.

(Risky Lessons, by Jessica Fields, pg 90)

That's why.

Overall, I still like you Seth Rogen, but you just reinforced this FUCKED UP assumption that boys are already making. THAT'S NOT OK. How would YOU feel, if this was deemed to be all that was needed for your own consent?


People I love who have done shit I hate might be a recurring segment. Not sure yet. Hope not.

But I do have one more... Did any of you see any of these "PG Porn" things? They're webisode dealies from some supposedly very clever people, whatever. The very first one featured Nathan Fillion. So of course I was like, ok the premise sounds funny and, well, Nate! So I watched it.

Dear gods. Horrible. At the end he shoots a nail into this woman's head while she's going to give him a blow job. I'm sorry, that's not funny. I can see, on paper perhaps, why it seemed funny. But. It's not. At all. It was, in fact, unbelievably disturbing and I was extremely pissed that Nathan did it. Just, no.

Afghan President Signs Law Legalizing Rape

Link

Um, yah. What the fucking fuck??

Afghanistan's President, Hamid Karzai, has signed a law which "legalizes" rape, women's groups and the United Nations warn. Critics claim the president helped rush the bill through parliament in a bid to appease Islamic fundamentalists ahead of elections in August.

In a massive blow for women's rights, the new Shia Family Law negates the need for sexual consent between married couples, tacitly approves child marriage and restricts a woman's right to leave the home, according to UN papers seen by The Independent.

"It is one of the worst bills passed by the parliament this century," fumed Shinkai Karokhail, a woman MP who campaigned against the legislation. "It is totally against women's rights. This law makes women more vulnerable."

The law regulates personal matters like marriage, divorce, inheritance and sexual relations among Afghanistan's minority Shia community. "It's about votes," Ms. Karokhail added. "Karzai is in a hurry to appease the Shia because the elections are on the way."
[...]
Details of the law emerged after Mr. Karzai was endorsed by Afghanistan's Supreme Court to stay in power until elections scheduled in August. Some MPs claimed President Karzai was under pressure from Iran, which maintains a close relationship with Afghanistan's Shias. The most controversial parts of the law deal explicitly with sexual relations. Article 132 requires women to obey their husband's sexual demands and stipulates that a man can expect to have sex with his wife at least "once every four nights" when traveling, unless they are ill. The law also gives men preferential inheritance rights, easier access to divorce, and priority in court.

A report by the United Nations Development Fund for Women, Unifem, warned: "Article 132 legalizes the rape of a wife by her husband".

Doctor Assaulted Suicidal Transgender Patient

Can I get a wtf?

A Melbourne Doctor has been found guilty of performing an indecent act upon a suicidal transgender patient only a day before International Transgender Day of Remembrance.

In June 2007, 53-year-old Sulieman Hamid was accused of touching a suicidal transgender woman in a Sunshine Hospital. Hamid was also accused of raping the woman back at her home the following day. Earlier in the trial the court heard that the woman propositioned Hamid, whilst he was treating her for a slashed wrist. The patient has a long history of suicidal tendencies and is also suffering a borderline personality disorder.

The victim told of how she remembered propositioning Hamid but also said she was not thinking straight and wanted to leave the hospital so she could “run in front of a bus.” Hamid told her he was not able to have sex as he was working according to the victim. “He started to touch my neck, my breasts, my lips (with) his fingers,” she told the court.

She was released from the hospital and returned home to sleep but was awoken by a phone call from Hamid asking if she was alone. She let the doctor come over hoping to get drugs from him. Once he arrived he began touching her. He was also accused of digitally raping her. At one point she testified that the doctor left the house to purchase condoms before returning to rape her.

Who fucking does that??

Full Story

Trans Murder Apology

Where to begin?

Forums can be such catalysts for thoughtful articulations! Arguing with people has always been much more fruitful for my brain than analyzing by myself. Recently, as in, over the last two or three days, there has been a conversation going regarding the murder of Angie Zapata.

Now, any feminist who's been around the block has seen this exact same rationale leveled at women who are raped, "well if she didn't [whatever she did] then [that] wouldn't have happened to her!" And we call this rape apology.

I don't know if there is a term for this that I simply haven't come across yet, but there should be a term for the blame I see leveled at trans people for "getting themselves murdered" which is basically what I have been dealing with. In contemplating all the overlapping issues I could think of, I came up with a few things, which I'd like to share with y'all.

There seemed to be a few different concepts underlying people's responses to Angie's murder. The most prominent, which I have seen just about every time this topic comes up anywhere, is that she was "lying", she "deceived" the man she slept with, and don't we all get angry when we're lied to?!

I think it's a bit more complex than that, personally.

We have a situation where say, a transsexual (or intersexed) woman, who has not had bottom surgery, is getting sexually involved with a heterosexual, cissexual man.

Now, this woman is presenting as a woman because she in fact, is a woman. If she still has a penis in some form that doesn't make her a liar for presenting as a woman.

The cissexual man assumed this woman wouldn't have a penis, but if he got involved with a cissexual woman who had a hysterectomy he would likewise assume she had a uterus. This is because these are the typical bodily configurations of a woman. They are what we are taught to expect a woman to consist of. But they are not the only configurations of a woman. Her not telling him of her atypical bodily configuration doesn't make her a liar. She just happens to be a woman with a penis.

The real issue in any of these types of cases is with the murderer involved. It is he who is reacting to his assumptions being incorrect.

Now, there are two ways to react, assuming he is not attracted to women with intersex or transsexual histories. He can say "I'm sorry, I assumed you were cissexual and this doesn't work for me" and go on his merry way (I will refrain from getting into the latent unaddressed issues I believe such men have with their own sexualities) or a variation along the lines of "I'm sorry, I not sexually attracted to people with a penis" (I don't assign such issues to this response), OR he can go all irrationally rageful, as in the Zapata case, and beat or kill this woman for... Well, whatever exactly is going on in his head at the time. It sure seems to me like what these men really get angry about are those latent issues I mentioned earlier. Like somehow being attracted to a woman with a penis, or someone with an intersexed or male-bodied history makes you GAY, OMG.

This is why the issue really, really, never lies with the T or I person.

Yes there is baggage that comes along with ones sexuality and gender. Some guy might see my hairy legs and get instantly turned off. Fine he's not my type. We make these kinds of negotiations in establishing relationships constantly. But if I jump into bed with some guy and he discovers a much loathed hairy bush, he's not going to kill me for it.

Why?

Because it's understood that a part of dating is dealing with the fact that not everything one assumes about another person is going to be true. Ever. That is the nature of building a relationship, even a purely sexual one. Additionally, other information is routinely left out of discussion before sexual relations take place, and that discovery of that information, even important life impacting sorts of things, does not result in murder.

Taking that into account, there must be a unique element to the information of T/I history to the person hearing it, something that might cause such reactions.

I think Radha [yes she was there too] hit the nail on the head, that unique element is homophobia.

The man in this case is not upset that Angie didn't share information with him. Certainly a man you've been married to for 20 years probably IS upset at that, but that's not the case we're discussing here. The man in this story is upset because she "lied" to him, she "fooled" him into think she was a "real woman."

It's not her words or her lack of words that creates this "lie", it is her very existence, and more importantly, his response to her existence. He is attracted to her, and by his definition she is not a "real" woman, but in fact a man. Thus he was attracted to a man, in his mind. If this is what he is in fact responding to, as I'm arguing, then his resulting rage is rooted in homophobia.

These responses from these men aren't about the T/I person. They are purely about themselves and their fear of what their attraction to a person with an intersex/trans history means in relation to their self identity as a heterosexual male.

Which is why my cissexual husband wouldn't respond this way. I discussed this with him, setting up a scenario wherein he meets an attractive woman, they go home together and when things get naked or shortly before, he discovers she has a penis. I asked him what he would do. He said he would feel a mixture of "disappointed" and "terribly amused". Amused at this "oops" moment, because he is simply not sexually attracted to penis. Disappointed that he's not actually getting laid that night.

I asked him if he would feel this woman lied to him or deceived him. No, he said.

This is not to laud my husband. But it was mentioned in the thread also, that cis-men don't need to examine their sexuality in depth the way transpeople do. I couldn't possibly disagree more. In fact I think het-cis guys are the ones who MOST need to examine their sexuality, because (as my husband says too) their homophobia is directly rooted in their NOT doing so.

This is why hubby generally dislikes other het-cis guys (and actually actively prefers the company of gay men). The rampant, thinly veiled homophobia bothers him. The lack of security in their identity and sexuality grates on him. And he attributes it directly to the fact that they don't ever think about their sexuality, don't entertain the possibility that they might not be "all the way" straight. They can't even think about it because it causes how they view themselves to shift so much.

Whereas he did think about it. It occurred to him one day to be curious about the possibility and so he went out and watched some gay porn, studied it, absorbed his reactions to it. What did he discover? Did nothing for him, he envied the guys for their bodies a little bit, and then he went on his merry way.

I think if every "hetero" guy did this same thing, two things would happen. 1. There would be far fewer closeted gay men in the world (:P) and 2. us women would not be abused or murdered by them anymore (because I think misogyny and homo/transphobia are inseparably linked but that's an argument for another time), at the very least gay men and trans women in all their variations wouldn't be. No more Angie Zapata's and Matthew Shepard's and Duanna Johnson's etc etc...

Another element going on in these conversations is that they are simplistic victim blaming. I don't care if you preface your statement with "Now I'm not BLAMING this person for getting themselves murdered...BUT". Whatever follows is some variation of victim blaming!! "Don't swim with the sharks and expect your ass not to get bitten". Whatever way you try and spin statements like this you are putting responsibility for preventing crime against this woman on HER, and by it's very nature that diverts some blame from the perpetrator.

This is usually followed by "well I want people to stay safe! this is a dangerous world we live in!!"

Well, yah. Do any of us REALLY not know that though? Do we need YOU to tell us this?? Don't we as women learn very quickly what actions we need to perform, and what activities to avoid, to keep ourselves safe? Aren't those beaten into our heads on a regular basis from birth?

We are all conscious of the compromises we make in our lives to keep ourselves safe. And we shouldn't think about those compromises as anything but. I know they are, I'm sure you know they are.

And the bottom line, we shouldn't HAVE to make compromises to "stay safe". That is idealistic, I know, but letting the conversations in response to these events revolve around us and how we can stay safe we are in some ways letting abusers off the hook, when the conversation should be revolving solely around THEM and their atrocious actions.

Until there is a resounding "HOW DARE YOU" response to stories like Angie's from the mainstream I feel like I have to just yell it louder to compensate, and going immediately into "stay safe" reinforce exactly what they want...For us to continue making adjustments FOR THEM, thinking how WE can adjust OUR behavior FOR THEM, instead of insisting to be treated like human beings BY them.

When it's doing the latter, and calling men out on their homophobia and misogyny, which will eventually, gods willing, make it possible for us to live in, take up space in, the world without making those compromises.

The Bind

Reading for my classes I am often coming across passages I find incredibly moving and meaningful. Too many to share them all. But tonight, I have one for you. It is speaking to a specific time and place and context, but the sentiment, it is universal.

We know that to overthrow the present government we have to vote for another one that will be against [women], and we must take that responsibility; we know that if we are to manifest our disobedience toward the war and be noticed, we have to stand in the opposition's street crowds and feel awful among sexist, royalist speeches and songs; we know that if we stand on the streets as small women's groups against war we expose ourselves to insults, but we still do that and feel brave; we know that if we are to deny the concept of national identity there is nothing else they'll allow us to stand for in exchange; we know that women men are urged to die courageously for their nation. Raped, murdered women will never be considered brave, except by us; we know that if we are to say aloud who we are and what we want there will be no historically accepted political patterns for our experience or our language. And yet here we are.

- Lepa Mladjenovic and Vera Litricin
"Belgrade Feminists 1992: Separation, Guilt, and Identity Crisis"

Straight Guys Who Consider Themselves Pro-Woman Take Note

'Cause the thing is, you and the guys you hang out with may not really mean anything by it when you talk about crazy bitches and dumb sluts and heh-heh-I'd-hit-that and you just can't reason with them and you can't live with 'em can't shoot 'em and she's obviously only dressed like that because she wants to get laid and if they can't stand the heat they should get out of the kitchen and if they can't play by the rules they don't belong here and if they can't take a little teasing they should quit and heh heh they're only good for fucking and cleaning and they're not fit to be leaders and they're too emotional to run a business and they just want to get their hands on our money and if they'd just stop overreacting and telling themselves they're victims they'd realize they actually have all the power in this society and white men aren't even allowed to do anything anymore and and and...

I get that you don't really mean that shit. I get that you're just talking out your ass.

But please listen, and please trust me on this one: you have probably, at some point in your life, engaged in that kind of talk with a man who really, truly hates women-to the extent of having beaten and/or raped at least one. And you probably didn't know which one he was.

And that guy? Thought you were on his side.

Sweet Machine gets the credit. Hat tip Xtinian Thoughts

Kyle Payne: The Conclusion

Have fun in county you fucking asshole.

Quoting repeatedly from Payne’s most recent blog post and pointing to what he described as a “narcissistic” tendencies, Buena Vista County Attorney Dave Patton requested the court sentence Payne to prison.

“[His blog post] indicates that he believes this is not all about the victim,” Patton said. “He believes it is all about him.”

No shit.

And this is rather amusing:

Several feminist bloggers have written about the case because Payne had been so public with not only his feminist leanings, but his advocacy on behalf of victims of rape and sexual assault.

Really? "Several"? *rolls eyes*

h/t to Cara

Hear Us Roar

Via Essin' Em I got word of this new collection of survivor's stories being gathered.

Many women have had similar defining moments in life—a sudden or gentle awakening where something unmistakable happens: a woman’s experience of herself shifts from powerless to powerful, from whispering her worth…to roaring.

Hear Us Roar! is a collection of auto-biographical stories, like Andrea’s, that celebrate the vitality, strength, and power of women across the globe. Our goal is to collect stories from 100 women by July 31, 2008, publish them in a book by the end of the year, and raise $100,000 from book sales to be donated to charity by June 2009.

Are you ready to roar? Do you know someone else who is? For more information, and to submit your story online, please visit the Tell Your Story page.

LaVena Johnson - Another GI's Rape and Murder Covered Up

When Dr John Johnson finally brought himself to look at the slain body of his beautiful 19-year-old daughter flown home from Iraq, he knew immediately he was looking at murder. This was no suicide from a self-inflicted M-16 wound, as the military would later claim.

The Johnsons are still fighting for answers. It was only recently, when they met anti-war activist Retired Colonel Ann Wright, that there has been a flicker of movement. Her contacts got Dr Johnson an audience with Congress. Since then, he's received word that LaVena's case may make it on to the congressional agenda.

Tragically, the Johnson family are not alone.

This is no single aberrant case. John Johnson has discovered far more stories that have matched his daughter's than he ever wanted to know. Ten other families of "suicide" female soldiers have contacted him. The common thread among them - rape.

Via and h/t to Cara

To learn more, like what you can do to get this case taken seriously, check out What About Our Daughters? and this online petition. We have got to stop the rapes and murders of our servicewomen, and it appears when they are anything but blonde haired white women, we won't be able to count on anyone but ourselves.