'Cause the thing is, you and the guys you hang out with may not really mean anything by it when you talk about crazy bitches and dumb sluts and heh-heh-I'd-hit-that and you just can't reason with them and you can't live with 'em can't shoot 'em and she's obviously only dressed like that because she wants to get laid and if they can't stand the heat they should get out of the kitchen and if they can't play by the rules they don't belong here and if they can't take a little teasing they should quit and heh heh they're only good for fucking and cleaning and they're not fit to be leaders and they're too emotional to run a business and they just want to get their hands on our money and if they'd just stop overreacting and telling themselves they're victims they'd realize they actually have all the power in this society and white men aren't even allowed to do anything anymore and and and...
I get that you don't really mean that shit. I get that you're just talking out your ass.
But please listen, and please trust me on this one: you have probably, at some point in your life, engaged in that kind of talk with a man who really, truly hates women-to the extent of having beaten and/or raped at least one. And you probably didn't know which one he was.
And that guy? Thought you were on his side.
Sweet Machine gets the credit. Hat tip Xtinian Thoughts
Probably, because I didn't want to take a beating myself, and knew that nothing I said would have made any difference apart from earning me that beating, since he probably already considered me suspect....With less overtly violent folk, on the other hand, I've been called "pussy whipped" and a countless variations on "faggot" for letting them know I wasn't on their side. What's always been really strange to me, though, is the women-who-love-men-who-hate-women, laughing and encouraging their remarks....
ReplyDeleteWhich is why the more men call out sexism and misogyny the less socially acceptable it will become. If peer pressure can reinforce negative ideas it can also reinforce positive ideas.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know that this is a wonderful and thought-provoking post that I'll now be sharing with every guy I know who pulls this sort of shit.
ReplyDeleteEspecially the ones who "don't really mean it"; they're the ones who need to see it most.
Thanks for summarizing this issue so well.
I stumbled across your blog and randomly found this...Thank you for writing this. I might have to sending this to some people.
ReplyDeleteAs for what yogaforcynics said about women who cheer those kind of men on...that makes me truly sad as well. The only thing I can get from that, and others have put out this theory as well, is that those are the women who feel like they're not like all those other women, that most women suck, and they feel like sharing in the woman-bashing can make them one of the guys and get out of being seen lesser in mens' eyes. The sad thing is though, is all they do is make it harder for other women without really bettering their own position either. Because the asshole may like them more, but still categorizes them as "just a girl."