Wow, it's Saturday already!
Sorry guys, I started a new job and I've just been too tired to think in any sort of profound way. And I refuse to post anything here unless it's at least slightly profound. Perhaps I will make it up to you with two posts today!
So, what I came to ponder today is the concept of being "anti-male."
This is a term I've heard a lot over the last couple days from two sources on a board where we discuss current events. Now, I have to admit, both of these individuals fall under the aptly named Fucking Pedantic Asshole category. So really, I probably shouldn't care that they think I'm "anti-male," and yet it irks me.
You see, to me, "anti-male" means, you hate men. I don't hate men! I fucking love men. I love fucking men, for that matter. I love their straight forward ways of speaking. I love when they look at me and I can tell they find me attractive. I loved the animated conversation with a very attractive new male which caused us to lean forward towards each other so noticeably that my husband (who by the way I also love) felt the need to yell out "hey are you two going to make out!?" I love when they are as irreverent as me, and when they can make me laugh. And I especially love when I can tell they are attracted to both my mind and my body.
I grew up with almost exclusively male friends. To be honest, I didn't even like my sex that much growing up. They were complicated, too much went on beneath the surface that honestly I didn't understand, and many of them were incredibly catty towards me for not being like them.
But the fact that I recognize that there are men out there who are not my friends? That makes me anti-male? That I realize that patriarchy is a real thing? That we are not equal, and that there are men out there who rape, murder and abuse women on a regular basis, and in fact far too often...That makes me anti-male?
I'm steadily seeing one of the ways that feminists came to be known as man-haters. Some men don't fucking get it. They don't get the complexities I'm working in when I make a feminist argument. They don't get the complexities that are life. And apparently they can't suffer their brothers to be criticized without feeling criticized themselves, and of course, you can't be critical of them unless you actually hate them. They don't see how you can love men, and criticize them at the same time.
But it is possible. You can in fact, criticize "men" (and "men" means "men who this criticism applies to, because it doesn't apply to all of you") and still love them over all. When out in public, by myself, do I treat men with some suspicion? You're damned right I do. There are definitely situations where I am very aware of my vulnerabilities. But if I feel I'm in a safe situation? I talk to all of them. And I don't ask their political or feminist affiliations first. Does any of that sound like someone who is "anti-male" to you?