Sunday, October 28, 2007

Stop selling yourselves short sisters...

Because it's worth saying.

a cat and twenty: above and beyond all this

There's a lot too this entry, all of it is important and worth reading, but what left me decided to post it, is this passage, quoted for truth.

but barring these impossible dreams, you know what i wish? i wish that we would stop apologizing. it's not easy - we've learned to say "i'm sorry" to try to preempt the whipping, or to lessen the lashes, or just to quiet our own minds while it's happening. we've learned that "sorry" helps us survive. but i wish we could start fighting back, just a little, in little ways.

so women - you women i know, you women i don't, any women who happen to read this, women everywhere, right now - start by not apologizing. don't apologize for just being what you are - don't apologize for the big and little things you do because you're a woman, or because you're a human being who happens to be a woman. don't qualify your thoughts, your opinions, your feelings - don't beat people to the punch of implying that they don't matter. "i know this might sound stupid, but..." "i know this is a dumb question..." "this is going to sound silly..."

stop. it is worth saying. you are worth hearing. women, please, say it, ask it, take it, do it - don't apologize.

there is nothing wrong with you.

Amen sister.

Since first reading it, this post has really had an effect on me. I have had to make some changes to the way I talk, myself, to stop from doing this so much. So thank you, a cat and twenty.


  1. wow - i need to thank you, for being so kind as to share this on your own blog. that means a lot to me!

  2. Amen indeed. One of the hardest things I've ever done was resist saying "I'm sorry" when I told a friend of mine, quite angrily, that he should never EVER (not even as a joke) call me a slut because I take it as an offense of the highest order. The silence just hung between us and it was so hard not to break it with "I'm sorry but I just feel really strongly about this" -- and it's like, why should I be sorry?! Why should I feel bad for not letting a friend of mine use a word against me that carries with it some of the most poisonously misogynistic baggage of our times? Why should I feel sorry for demanding verbal respect from someone who claims to care for me?

    I shouldn't. Nobody should. And you're absolutely right -- women need to stop apologizing for having their own opinions, yes, even when they differ from normative/male opinions.


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