Sunday, July 12, 2009


Oh dear gods where to even begin with this movie. Oh, and spoilers below.

First of all, if you were annoyed by the tropes in the first movie, don't even bother trying to see this one, they've multiplied in numbers and intensity at least 5 fold.

For instance, one of the things I liked about the first one is that at least the lead female character you know DID SOMETHING. She drove a huge truck backward and was AWESOME. In this one? Same lead female does NOTHING. You know except scream a bit here and there and get rescued and such. Bleh.

In the same vein, the running while holding hands trope of action movies was alive and well. This has become a huge irritant for me. Have you ever tried to run while holding someone's hand? Your arms can't help you out anymore and you go along really slow and really awkward. Yet they insist on doing this in these movies and in this one it was all over the place. WHY?! JUST RUN DAMN IT!

I never really thought of these robots as having a sex. I mean, they did, obviously, they all have male voices. But I guess I'll give a point to social conditioning for being successful in my not really thinking about it. But I have now, because there are female robots (for 5 seconds)! They're motorcycles with hot female voices who metallic boobs when they stand up. Yay! I mean motorcycles are cool and all but couldn't we just give some of these same big bulky cars female voices? Do they have to be SO gendered for anyone to consider that?

Also, since when are these robots "Terminators"? Why was there a perfectly human looking Decepticon? WHY?! I mean the "my gf walks into my college dorm right as this chick kissed me!" trope is bad enough but seriously did we just throw everything we know about these bots in the process? Was it worth it Michael Bay? Oh, also, in a very "Species"ish move this bot kills people either with a tail which creeps out all dangerously sexy from under her very short skirt or...with her tongue. Oy.

Another fun observation? The Black character has no lines. If you saw the first one you will remember a Black military dude character. He was somewhat important to that movie and had lines and stuff. Well, he's in this movie too. But his lines basically consist of "uh huh".

And my FAVORITE are these two walking robot black face caricatures! I guess maybe someone decided we needed "diversity" in the movie so we get chick robot motorcycles and these two guys. The faces themselves are ridiculous, they look like minstrel show posters, huge lips and googly eyes and I'm not even joking huge buckteeth one of which is GOLD in the front. And they talk like the most glaring MTV "ghetto Black" stereotype you've ever seen. My mouth hit the floor when I saw these two.

All in all, I can't even say I was entertained by this movie. I was alternately annoyed, astonished and bored. The action sequences were cool and it had it's moments, but these tropes just ruined it.