I was inspired by two posts to give some love to my "moon time" otherwise known as my period. Why would I give love to something that women are universally understood to hate or at the very least only sort of put up with?
Well, I don't know exactly when, but at some point I realized my perspective on my period was reflective of how I felt about my body in general. Therefore, I set about reframing how I thought about my body, and I figured my period was the best place to start.
I learned about my period at school and it basically became this thing that wasn't unnatural or anything to feel exactly shameful of but it was something to dislike and get through as quickly as possible. Certainly something I only heard spoken of in disparaging ways in conversation. I definitely hid the fact that I was on it when I was and had a mingling sort of curiosity and discomfort with it.
I didn't really come to terms with my period as an ok thing until I bought my first Diva Cup.
And of course that was part of that already mentioned process of choosing to come to terms with it. Along the road to that decision were other realizations like of my saying "I hate my period!" and wondering why, especially seeing as after a few years I didn't have terrible cramps or anything (nothing a couple Advil didn't solve anyway). I had decided by the time I bought my cup that I wanted to have a positive view of my period as part of a positive view of my body and the biological realities of what it meant to be a female sexed person.
But even with all that somehow until I stopped using tampons I still had an "icky" view of the whole thing. I didn't touch my vagina during that time, it felt very detached from me in general but especially during my period. I was starting to befriend it at other points (previously it had mostly functioned as a part of my body I didn't interact with much but was used by others to bring me pleasure so I can't say I had an unfavorable view of my cunt but just sort of a distant from it...) but there was a big disconnect during period time.
Something about using a cup, having to really make friends with my vagina, figure out how she worked, see the blood in it's whole state, realize the discomfort I had always felt because of tampon use soaking up all my natural moisture along with the blood... I dunno. That truly brought me to terms with it. I talk quite comfortably and openly about these things now, and no I don't work for Diva Cup, in fact I hear some brands are better, but that's what I have and it's worked well enough.
This is not my greatest post ever and I will probably revisit the topic in the future, but maybe it'll spark conversation. Unfortunately for writing, this evolving relationship with my body has been a rather convoluted journey, and therefore not chronologically easy to discuss. I guess, to come back to where I started; I give some love to my period. She's not so bad, pretty easy to manage really, she's part of a natural cycle of hormones that are sometimes frustrating, sometimes fun, and reassurance that I am still child free. All just part of being a woman in this female body, and I'm ok with that.
